Valentine’s Day Survival Guide for Happy Couples, Singles and Men and Women in Difficult Relationships

by Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries on February 13, 2012

in Articles, Dating, Heartbreak Recovery Tips, Marriage, Men's Help, Relationships, Singles, Women's Help

You can have a wonderful, fun, stress-free Valentine’s Day, regardless your relationship status.

In order to have a good Valentine’s Day you need to understand that whether you think V-day is stupid or silly, or is just a money-making opportunity for the greeting card industry, we all on some level buy into the V-day frenzy.

Ignoring V-day is going end up making you feel bad, so I am going to help you deal with it in the way that will help you feel good.

If you are in a happy relationship, take Valentine’s Day seriously. Even if you and your partner agreed not to make a big deal out of V-day, don’t let the day go by without doing something meaningful for him or her. There’s too much hype about the day for it to not matter, no matter how much you would like to think it doesn’t. Take the suggestions below and do at least one of them in your relationship. Your partner may tell you that you shouldn’t have, but he or she will be glad you did.

If you are single or your relationship is not going well, you are bound to feel some negative emotions around V-day, so here’s what you do. Decide you are going to have a wonderful Valentine’s Day anyway. Instead of expecting or wishing someone was there to give you that wonderful day, care enough about yourself to do it for yourself. Take the suggestions below and do one or more of them for yourself. The action of caring for yourself and doing good things for yourself will make you feel good, and it’s good for you.

1. The Perfect Card + One Perfect Rose

Couples: Buy or make a lovely card and then fill it to the brim with words of love, admiration and appreciation. By “fill it to the brim,” I mean leave no white space untouched. Present it with one perfect rose.

Singles and Men and Women in Difficult Relationships:
Buy or make a lovely card for yourself, and just as above, fill it to the brim with words you want to hear from your future lover. Put in envelope and open it on Valentine’s Day. Present it to yourself with one perfect rose.

2. The Gift of Undivided Attention

Couples: Give your partner the gift of undivided attention for at least an hour. During the designated attention time do not flip on the TV, check your phone, get on the computer, or fall prey to any other distraction. Focus on your partner completely. Look into his or her eyes, ask him or her questions, listen intently. Do not ask for anything for yourself during this time – give full focus and attention to your partner.

Singles and Men and Women in Difficult Relationships:
Give yourself the gift of your own undivided attention for at least an hour. Take away all of the distractions and be with yourself the way you would want your partner to be with you. Go for a walk or journal, listen to your thoughts, ask yourself questions about topics that are important to you. We so seldom stop and listen to ourselves, yet that can be incredibly nourishing and healing.

3. Love Letter

Couples: Write your loved one a love letter or poem and read it to him or her on Valentine’s Day. It does not matter if it rhymes or not, or how good it is. It does matter that you express what your partner means to you. If you speak from your heart, you will touch his or her heart and create a sense of being connected. And THAT is what matters!

Singles and Men and Women in Difficult Relationships:
Write yourself a love letter or poem. Read it to yourself out loud. Self-love is the first step to having more romantic love in your life. Allow yourself to both write down true appreciation for yourself and to receive that appreciation.

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Neil February 14, 2012 at 7:38 am

I like the gift of undivided attention… Only an hour though? I think you should want to give whoever you are in love with at least an hour everyday. Not just on Valentine’s Day

Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries February 14, 2012 at 10:16 am

Neil, I agree. An hour is not much. But for some people, it’s a whole lot, so it’s a good place to start.

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