Resolve Conflict Effectively: Communication Script

by Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries on March 15, 2007

in Break-ups and Divorce, Dating, Marriage, Relationships, Singles

The following article was not written by me, but by my prosperity and abundance coach Jeanna Gabellini of

When I feel like I can’t have what I want, and I am working too hard and getting nowhere, Jeanna is who I call. She has amazing energy and is an inspiring and powerful lady. She is very much in touch with laws of attraction and coaches within laws of attraction masterfully.

When Jeanna is struggling with relationships, I am the one she calls. She wrote the following article about one of our coaching sessions:

“I’m going to be honest with you. The following material is not mine, but it’s so good I had to share it with you. It came straight from the mouth of the best expert I could find on relationships. Who is it? She is America’s #1 Love Coach, Rinatta Paries. She’s who I call when I need straight talk about relationships.

I feel like I’m about to give you a golden secret for communicating. You can use the following script with your mate, children, family, co-workers, employees and more. I’ll also show you how it works beautifully with the Law of Attraction.


So let’s say you have a conflict that needs to be resolved. Maybe you’ve talked about the situation with the appropriate person with not-so-good results. Maybe you found yourself angry with a person but haven’t communicated at all with them. The very first thing that needs to happen is to breathe. Calm yourself. Intend that the situation will be resolved no matter what stage it is in currently. When you are not emotionally charged, request time to talk with the person you have an issue with. Then decide how you want to feel during the dialogue. For instance, you may choose to be calm, compassionate and grounded. Or you may choose to be light and unattached. Envision in your mind the way you’d like all this to play out. Now you are ready to dialogue.”

Rinatta’s script for you:

1. Can you listen to me? Yes or No.
If yes, lets talk. If no, when can you listen to me?

2. Here is what I observed that happened.
* List only the facts.

3. Here is how I feel as result of what happened.
* Rinatta says it is very important to just stick to your feelings. Do not blame, tell stories or go into justifying your position.

4. Here is what the situation is costing us.
* We’re not talking about money here. The price could be trust, confusion, disconnection, etc.

5. This is important to me. Here is what I want from you.
* Rinatta says to be very specific here. Give examples of how it would look if you were getting what you want.

6. Can you tell me what is going on for you? How do you feel?
What led you to take the actions and say the things you did, etc.?
* This is where compassion comes in. You want to understand this person from an objective perspective.

7. How can I support you to give me what I want? Is there something you’d like me to do or not do?

Great Script!
What I love about Rinatta’s script is that it addresses the issue, your request, a solution and you get to hear the other person’s side. You are also taking responsibility for change.

I’m intending you the best of the best in all of your relationships.

Jeanna Gabellini

If you’d like one-on-one relationship advice and coaching with Rinatta Paries, go to You can also read more of her articles on this blog.

Update: If you would like to learn more about how to resolve conflict in your relationship, take a look at How to Stop Fighting in Your Relationship article and listen to me talk about resolving conflict in relationships.

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