The Secret Key to His Heart

by Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries on June 8, 2015

in Dating, Heartbreak, Marriage, Relationship Key, Relationship Tips, Relationships, Singles, Women's Help, Women’s Tips

devotedThe secret key to a man’s heart is to delight in him. Let me explain what I mean.

First let’s look at the definition of delight from Merriam Webster dictionary:

1. Something that makes you very happy:
2. Something that gives you great pleasure or satisfaction.

What I mean by delight, then, is to be very happy and take great pleasure and satisfaction in him.

People fall in love with those who delight in them, because we all deeply and profoundly need to have that one person who takes great pleasure and satisfaction in us.

To borrow lyrics from the currently popular song “Earned It” from the 50 Shades of Grey movie, this is the message that captures the heart: “You are perfect the way you are, you are always worth it, and you deserve it.”

As I share in my 8 Stages of Relationships book (see more information below), delighting in each other is how people relate to each other in the honeymoon stage of the relationship. This is why couples are so happy and in love for the first three months they’re together. We fall in love with people who delight in us!

Unfortunately, as a couple moves into the next stage of a relationship, the delight in each other fades. Women start to criticize or demand more from, instead of enjoy, their partners. Men start to criticize as well, or worse, distance and wall up from their partners. As the feelings of delight fade the relationship suffers.

And so, the secret to capturing a man’s heart at any point in the relationship – whether the relationship is brand new or the two of you have been together for years – is to be very happy with him,  taking great pleasure and satisfaction in him – to delight in him. And do it on a very consistent basis.

To communicate your delight in your partner, do this:

  • Smile when you see your partner
  • Act happy to see him
  • Listen intently to what he says
  • Show you care about what matters to him
  • Touch him
  • Take pleasure in what he does
  • Thank him for all small and big things he does
  • Show that you enjoy spending time with him

Showing delight is not always easy, because it can make you feel vulnerable, especially if you are uncertain about your partner’s feelings toward you. In the case of a difficult relationship, it may seem like showing delight would condone things that you would rather see changed.

But this is exactly why showing delight will capture his heart. Delight isn’t typical or ordinary and it may not even be deserved. It does however bring into focus everything you enjoy about your partner, encouraging him to do more of the things you love by rewarding his effort with your happiness.

If you want to be in the relationship with a particular man, it is because you delight in him already, even if only in some aspects of him. Show that delight consistently and magic happens! The man will be drawn to you like a magnet and will never want to leave.

Lastly, I want to make sure you understand that to delight in someone is not the same as caring for that person. This is one point that most women miss, and in the process do the opposite of what makes a man want to be in a relationship.

To increase your ability to delight in a man and gain more happiness from your romantic relationship, schedule your Get Clarity Coaching Session with me now. We will look at your most pressing relationship concern and develop a step by step process to help you create the relationship you want.

Additional help can be found in my 8 Stages of Relationships book, in which I detail the natural stages of every relationship and show you how to successfully grow together through each one.

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