Would it be great if you could get everything you wanted this holiday season? Not just all the stuff you want, but also being treated the way you want, getting the time and attention you want from the people you want it from, and having the holidays go the way you want.
Impossible? Here’s how:
1. What do you really want?
Get to know what you really want. Sit down with a sheet of paper and write down the following:
* All the things you really want to get as gifts this holiday season
* All the people you very much want to spend time with and how much time you want with each
* All the activities you absolutely want to do (not have to do, but want to do) and with whom
* All the most important specific ways you want events or activities to turn out
2. Who’s the boss
Who else is involved in the decision-making on your lists above? Is it your spouse or partner, friends, co workers, family, your kids? For each thing you want above, write down whom else you need to involve, talk to or bribe in order to get things just how you want them.
3. Get a new mantra
One of the biggest reasons people don’t get what they want is because they decide ahead of time that they can’t have it. You know how Dorothy would say “There’s no place like home” over and over again? You are going to say “I can have what I want” over and over again, until you believe it.
Ask the people you wrote down in step 2 above to give you what you want. Ask sweetly and lightly, with a twinkle in your eye. Start with this: “Do you know what I really want for (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Holidays, Birthday, etc)? You don’t? Well, let me tell you!” And then tell them. Then tell them what great things they are going to get out of the deal if you get what you want. For example, you might sounds like this:”Honey (or mom, kid, boss, friend), if I can get that (thing or event, or time) I want so much, you will have a very happy me. And a happy me means lots of (cookies, toys, s-x, hugs, time) for you!”
5. Be prepared
Even when you ask for what you want in just the right way and the other person involved tries to give you exactly what you want, sometimes they fall short. This is because they are not you, and sometimes just can’t do things the way you would. So prepare to be gracious and grateful, and to go the extra mile for yourself to put the finishing touches on what ever it is, to make it just the way you want it!
Still can’t get what you want in your relationship? Let me help you in a Couple’s Get Clarity Session. 40 minutes. Two of you + me. Hearing and understanding each other. Priceless. More about Couple’s Get Clarity Session is here.