Do you need a coach, a therapist — or neither?
Do you need a singles coach, dating coach, relationship coach, marriage coach or a breakup coach? Or do you need a therapist? Or perhaps you don’t need any of these? Let’s find out!
Let me ask you a couple of questions:
- Is what you’re doing right now — or what the two of you are doing right now — working for you? If not…
- Are you seriously considering doing something about your dating, relationship, marriage or breakup situation? Or are you just going to wait and see if things get better with time? (They never do, by the way! Time does not cure relationship issues.)
If what you’ve been doing in dating and relationships isn’t working (or working well enough) for you, then perhaps it is time to consider your options on how to change that. Let’s take a good look at those options, shall we?
Option 1: Do nothing
You can continue along this same path, occasionally getting what you want out of your relationship(s). While if you are single, you may attract a decent potential partner on occasion, or if you are in a relationship or marriage, you may feel happy and connected with your partner on occasion. However, these will continue to be elusive events that happen to you occasionally, not because you know what to do to make them happen. Yes, you will sometimes be happy. But having a fully satisfying relationship life will elude you.
You will attribute this to how men or women are, or perhaps to how life is, or maybe to your lot in life. What you will never know is that good love is not hard to find and good love needs as many skills as making good money, or doing good business or preparing good food; and YOU CAN master these skills with the right guidance.
Option 2: Self-help and therapy
You can work on yourself by reading self-help books, going to self-help groups and even working in therapy. This is actually a great option, in that the more you know and the more you grow, the better off you will be. The more self-management tools and information you can add to your relationship tool kit, the better. However, this path does not go far enough in order to fully help your relationship(s).
You may learn so much that you will be great at giving relationship advice to your friends, and if they take your advice, they might have some positive results. You will sound self-aware and intelligent. And if you go to therapy, you will be much better at understanding yourself and why you do what you do.
If you only work on yourself, what you will miss is the fact that every human being can only see themselves to a point. There are beliefs, issues, building blocks and cornerstones of your personality that are so deeply embedded, that you simply will not see that they are causing your relationship problems.
If you go to therapy, you will discover some of these. But what I hear over and over again is that therapy fails to resolve issues and change behavior. It will bring clarity, but not the change that you want.
Can you imagine sitting in therapy for three months, six months, perhaps even years, understanding what you do and why you do it, but not being able to change what you do? Or understand what you do, but not being able to change what’s happening to you?
When clients who have been in therapy come to me and I help them change in a couple of sessions the things they have been working on in therapy for months or years, they are often astounded and mad at their therapist.
But don’t take my word for it. If therapy is what you want to do because it seems safer, or because it’s covered by insurance, go do that. You will learn a lot about yourself. And then when you see that things are not changing in your dating or relationship, you will know you have another option.
Option 3: Dating or relationship coaching
You find yourself a good relationship coach. (And look, you already did that by coming here. I was the original relationship coach, before there were relationship coaches and I am still here, so I must know a good bit of something, don’t you think?)
With my support, guidance and my arsenal of life changing skills, you will learn to navigate dating and/or relationships with such natural ease and finesse that you will wonder if perhaps you had it in you all along. After a while healthy relationships will become so natural that you won’t know why you struggled all those years and exactly what your problem was.
Don’t believe that I can help you make profound changes? Take a look at what my clients are saying.
I can’t tell you if you are ready to work with me, but I can ask you this important qualifying question (find one that fits your situation):
- Are YOU ready to start attracting potential partners? (If you are SINGLE, and not meeting anyone, I am talking to you!)
- Are YOU ready to have better dating choices, choosing between well-suited compatible partners? (If you are SINGLE, but don’t like your partner choices, I am talking to you!)
- Are YOU ready to move your dating relationship forward, or to change the way you date, so that dating actually leads somewhere other than disappointment? (If you are DATING, but feeling frustrated and dissatisfied, I am talking to you!)
- Are YOU ready to do something about your relationship? To heal it, solve it, calm it down, make it more joyful, more full of love and passion, to bring back the good feelings? (If you are in a RELATIONSHIP or MARRIAGE that is stuck or unsatisfying, or even painful, I am talking to you!)
- Are YOU ready to save your relationship? Have you tried therapy only to feel worse about your relationship? Are the two of you thinking of going your separate ways? Or are you thinking of having an affair to fill in the emptiness left by your relationship or marriage? (If you are in a RELATIONSHIP or MARRIAGE that is on the verge of a breakup, affair or another disaster, I am talking to you!)
- Are YOU ready to get over that ex? To stop thinking about him or her, to stop longing for him or her? Maybe you are not ready, but would you like to stop anyway, let go, move on, be happy again? (If you are dealing with a BREAKUP, I am talking to you!)
If you answered “Yes!” then it is possible that you are ready to at least consider working with me as your coach. Set up an introductory individual coaching session with me or set up an introductory couple’s coaching session with me for the two of you.
Is this a tough decision to make? Don’t want to spend the money on working with a dating or relationship coach? No problem. Continue doing what you’re doing now, and come back in three months to see if you have had positive changes in your situation. If you haven’t made significant forward progress (like met the right person or got your relationship to feel good consistently) during that period, then perhaps it is time to consider Option 3: Dating or relationship coaching (see above).
The bottom line is that your relationship experience will change when you firmly decide to change it and to do what it takes to achieve that goal. And when you’ve made that decision, then it is time for us to talk about working together.
Are you ready to get more information? Contact me and let’s set up a time to talk. I will give you 15 minutes of my time for you to tell me about your situation and ask me questions about coaching.
Or, if you are ready to try being coached, you can start right now! Go and set up an introductory individual coaching session with me or set up an introductory couple’s coaching session with me for the two of you. The details? Introductory Get Clarity Session is 30 minutes and will cost you $49. An introductory couple’s coaching session is 40 minutes and will cost you $67.
These sessions are a low risk way to try out working with me as your coach, so that you can see if it’s for you. If you like what you experience in the introductory sessions, you can work with me as your coach in the Get Results 1:1 Coaching Program or in the Couple’s Get Results Coaching Program.
I’m willing to coach you, and wanting to coach you, but you have to contact me or set up a session with me in order to get started on getting what YOU want out of relationships.
With the right help, and the right action, you CAN get the relationship life you want. I promise to help you achieve even more than you think is possible for you!
From the Heart,