How to Make Sure You Don’t End Up Alone After Breakup or Divorce

by Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries on October 26, 2015

in Affairs, Articles, Break-ups and Divorce, Dating, Heartbreak, Law of Attraction, Marriage, Men's Help, Relationships, Singles, Women's Help

Dont_end_up_aloneWhether you are contemplating a breakup or divorce, are in the midst of it, or are recovering from the loss of your relationship, you are likely faced with the fear of ending up alone.

The fear of never meeting a partner who’s as good as your last partner, or possibly never having a relationship partner again, is a very typical, normal part of the end-of-relationship process. But just because it’s normal does not mean it’s not terrifying and depressing to experience!

The good news is that you don’t have to end up alone. Once you have recovered from the ending of your relationship, follow the plan I outline for you below to connect with a partner for the best relationship of your life.

The plan to ensure you meet a great partner:

1. Become aware of serendipity in your life and especially in your relationships.
Think about how you met your best friends, or found your favorite job with your favorite boss. Look back to how you met the doctor you love, or the hairstylist that you can’t live without. Remember how you happened upon the right mechanic, or your amazing tax person, or the barista that you now call friend. You needed these people in your life, you did some leg work and they showed up. Finding the right partner can be just like that. The leg work steps are outlined for you below.

2. Discover and work on the fears that block your right partner.
If you want that one relationship that sticks, the one that will make you happy for the rest of your life, and yet keep ending up alone, you are blocking your right partner. To be sure, you are not doing this consciously. Likely you are not even aware of it. Even so, you can and need to bring your greatest fears to awareness and work to dispel them. When you do, you will be opening the door to your right partner and the best relationship of your life.

I do this work kind of growth worth with clients in my coaching practice. If you want my help discovering what’s blocking your right partner, schedule your Get Clarity Session.

3. Get clear about what your heart longs for in a relationship.
Spend time around people who live their life in a way that answers this longing. If you long for safety, spend time around safe, nurturing people. If you long for a partner in adventure, spend time with people who are adventurous and take healthy risks. If you long for a partner to have long meaningful conversations with, spend time with people who love to have long, meaningful conversations. Bring into your life the things you most long for in relationship, so these stop being longings and become an  ordinary part of your life.

4. Surround yourself with people who are examples of the kind of partner you want, to prove to yourself that the kind of partner you want exists.
Get clear on the most important qualities you are looking for in a partner. Then go about noticing and collecting people who can serve as living examples of the kind of partner you want to attract. For example, notice if your boss has qualities you want in your right partner. If so, have lunch with your boss once in a while, to be around those qualities. Same thing goes for mentors, friends, neighbors and even service providers, such as doctors. This is not to start thinking about these people in a romantic way, but to see that you are able to have in your life now the qualities you want in a romantic partner.

5. Do a symbolic action daily to engage the world around you to support you in your desire.
Pray, if you typically pray, and ask others to pray for you. Or do rituals, if that is what you do to help you create what you want. Give to charity, or do good works. Create a vision board. Do EFT, visualize or daydream. The idea is to engage your imagination to create the story you want for your relationship life.

6. Only then, get out in the world and meet new single people.
Meeting new single people, getting on dating websites, going to singles events and social gatherings is good for you. You want to build a community of people to know in order to maximize your opportunity to meet the right person. Just be sure that this is your last step, one you take when you are actually fully open and prepared to meet the right person for you, for the best relationship of your life.

When a relationship ends, it can feel like the end of hope or possibility. The plan above was designed to help you know there will be life after the pain and trauma of your break-up or divorce. When you are ready, use these steps to create the best relationship of your life.


If you want my help recovering from the end of your relationship or marriage, or successfully using the steps of this plan, schedule a Get Clarity Telephone Coaching Session.


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