Coaching Session #11 of Love Coaching Social Experiment continues. Watch me coach Jodi, a single, bright, beautiful, late-thirty-something lady, to help her attract the man of her dreams – reality-TV style, right in front of your eyes and ears.
Read the full introduction to this social experiment, follow the links from there to previous coaching sessions and then back to this post.
Two weeks ago I asked Jodi to get number of meditation CDs and work with at least one of them daily. Instead she went to a bookstore and got a book on relationships, one that helps her mind but does nothing for her heart.
Jodi called herself a spoiled child for not following the coaching and getting the CDs I recommended. Here is my reply and coaching to her.
Coach Rinatta says: Dear Jodi, when a person is in pain about his or her love life, he or she can’t see the solution, can’t even see that there may be a solution. Just because I say there is solution, even though the person may trust me, it still doesn’t seem right or real. If the solution does seem real, the road to the solution may seem hard, convoluted, and endless.
Some people can make big changes quickly and grasp onto any opportunity to improve themselves. However, most people can’t handle personal change at such speed, in fact they avoid personal growth because of fear of change and the pain. The pain they fear is that pain of having to confront the thing that holds them back. This pain is often far worse than the pain of doing nothing differently. This dilemma of feeling more pain for some unbelievable reward, versus feeling less pain and living life as is, is what prevents most people from making life and love life changes.
You are not a spoiled child. You have resisted the steps I asked you to take, and that’s ok. Let’s deal with your resistance.
Awhile back we figured out why you don’t have the love life you want. We have known for a while that the reason you attract only unavailable men is because you are generally disconnected from everyone in your life. We know that you have no experience with being connected and deeply loved, nor being connected and loving deeply. We know that you feel empty and drift, seizing opportunities – and men – that come to you. Finally we know you are terrified of connection, terrified that you will get hurt and abandoned.
Jodi, in order to be able to have a loving relationship in your life you are going to have to change how you relate to yourself, your life, your children, your friends, your community, your parents, everything and everyone. You cannot maintain your life and function as is and get the love that you want. And that is what I see you trying to do. You are somehow hoping for change without doing much to actually change.
Your ability to acquire the love you want directly depends on your ability to change and grow yourself into a warm, loving, open, and connected person. The only way this is going to happen is through daily action that facilitates connection. Can you hear me on this? I am dead serious here. No daily action to facilitate and practice connection equals no change in how your love life works. And the connection you need to work on facilitating needs to be with people who are available to connect with you.
I suggest you get involved in either spiritual or growth community. I would love to see you joining a couple of groups, to meet new people and practice connecting with them.
On another front I suggest you try the guided visualizations I suggested. After all, each one comes with a money-back guarantee, so if they don’t work for you, you are not loosing anything. And I think they will work for you.
Here is why guided visualization is so poweful.
Visualizing means seeing with your mind’s eye, intentionally projecting an image into your mind. Your body and mind experience, seeing with your mind’s eye, in the same way as seeing with your physical eyes. You get transported into the experience, much as if you were living the experience.
Visualization is a powerful, universally used technique in enhancing sports and test performance. It works as well in emotional healing as it does in these other fields.
By listening to, focusing on and following the guided visualizations I have recommended, you will have the experience of receiving love and opening your heart in safety – experiences you have not yet had in real life. Over time, if you work with the guided visualizations daily, the experiences of love will become more familiar to you and attracting love and connecting with people will become easier.
Here is the list of guided meditations I have given you. Choose two of three and start working on them:
- Guided meditation CD to rewrite and heal your childhood (use tracks 1 through 4 for this)
- Guided meditation CD to learn healthy relationship behavior (use tracks 5 through 8 for this)
- Guided meditation CD to change how you feel about yourself and how you view yourself
- Guided meditation CD to help you actually have the experience of being in a healthy relationship
- Guided meditation CD to help you get more spiritually connected and feel more loved and in tune
Do you think you can work a few of these guided visualizations without resistance? Will you make time for this work daily?
And Jodi, what else are you willing to do daily to get to the goal you want of having a loving man in your life?
Do you want to get help and coaching that Jodi is receiving, for yourself? You can get help from me, privately, by hiring me as your love coach.