How to Build Self-Love: Coaching Jodi to Attract a Relationship, Coaching Session #10

by Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries on April 2, 2006

in Dating, Love Coaching, Singles

Coaching Session #10 of Love Coaching Social Experiment – How to Build Self-Love. Watch me coach Jodi, a single, bright, beautiful, late-thirty-something lady, to help her attract the man of her dreams – reality-TV style, right in front of your eyes and ears.

Read the full introduction to this social experiment , follow the links from there to previous coaching sessions and then back to this post.

This week Jodi is wondering how to find the voice inside of her that is louder than her addiction to unavailable men in general and louder than her latest interest in Dustin – a geographically-unavailable man in particular.

Jodi said: If this path I am on is love addiction and not true attachment, it comes down to saying no to the addiction (to Dustin?). I have to find a voice that is more powerful than the addiction is. Where to find that voice is the challenge.

Love Coach Rinatta says: Jodi, the voice that is louder than love addiction to Mr. Unavailable, i.e. emotionally unavailable man, one that’s louder than settling for crumbs of love when you are so hungry for connection, is the voice of self-love and the voice for how much you are loved by the divine.

All right, let me clarify this, before you, dear reader, take me for either a religious fanatic or a complete flake.

Self-love and the feeling of being loved and supported by God, the universe, Buddha, or whatever your name for a higher power is, begins from being deeply loved by parents in a way that fills the child up. Most parents of Jodi’s generation, and the previous generations, did not know how to do this for their children.

The result of that kind of limited-love parenting: children who grew up feeling empty and unloved, lacking self-love and lacking the sense that they are loved by the divine.

The cure: re-imagine your childhood so that you experience your parents being deeply loving and create a deep connection with the divine, so that you feel deeply loved.

Work with this meditation CD to re-imagine your childhood. Work with this guided mediation CD to start building your connection to the divine. Also, get involved in a religious or spiritual fellowship of your choosing.

Jodi, while you hunger for connection to another, what you don’t know is that when you establish a deep connection with yourself and the divine on the inside, you will feel wonderfully full and quenched. Not that you will not want a relationship, but you will want one in a different way, for a different reason.

Here is the key. You have to be hungry for healing from all this, for change in yourself. You can’t just do the exercises I give you dispassionately and hope they bring results. You have to deeply want to be connected to your inner world of feelings, to gain the ability to love and sooth yourself, in a way that no one has ever done it for you.

It’s kind of like the connection with Dustin right now. When he calls, you hold your breath, waiting for him to tell you he wants you. That’s how I want you to be when you are working on growing yourself. See yourself becoming whole and integrated and connected to yourself and the world around you and be willing to do anything it takes to get there.

P.S. Jodi, by the way, did you know you and I are attached? I know, it’s long distance and so much of our connection is public. However, there is a very real connection and I deeply care about you.

Dear reader, do you want the same help and coaching Jodi is receiving, only private, so that you can find your way out of being single and into a healthy relationship? You can get help from me, privately, by hiring me as your love coach.

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