Alone for the Holidays? Here is Help.

by Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries on December 19, 2011

in Articles, Break-ups and Divorce, Dating, Relationships, Singles

Are you alone for the holiday season? Some people might feel alone because they don’t have a special someone to share the holidays with. Other men and women may feel alone because they don’t have family or a close-knit circle of friends.

Either way, if you are feeling alone this holiday season, here are ideas to help.

1. It’s best to be with people

I am not sure you know this, but we are all social animals. We suffer when not connected socially. That’s why being alone feels so bad.

It’s best for you if you don’t spend the key holiday events by yourself. But what do you do if you don’t have anyone to be with? Here’s a couple of ideas:

~ Get invited a party or a dinner party, by sharing with people you know, even causally, that you are alone for the holidays. People tend to be more open and generous this time of the year and will be happy to extend a welcome to you.

~ Volunteer at a shelter or a hospital. There are others who feel alone or who feel the spirit of the holidays is best expressed in service. Go be with those people. You may not think this will make you feel better, but it will. Service always lifts up the person who serves.

~ Join with other people who don’t have family or significant other to spend the holidays with. Look at meetup.com and meetin.org for events to go to.

2. Make yourself be with people

If you are alone for the holidays you are going to look at the above list and dismiss it. That’s what people do when they feel alone. The alone-ness feels so bad that they become unable to reach out to others.

So make yourself go anyway, even if you don’t feel like it. Make yourself go even if you can’t. Because you can. You have power over your actions, and in taking the right action – which is being with people – you will feel better.

And when you get there, make yourself connect, even if it’s hard and you feel awkward. It will make you happy.

3. If you insist on being alone, make it count

If you just can’t make yourself go out and be with people you are not close with, stay in, but do things that will make a difference for you.

What do most people do when they are alone and don’t want to be? They watch TV, read books that help them escape, overeat, perhaps drink too much, or sleep.

Will any of this help you feel less alone? No it will not. Will it help you be less alone next holiday season? You know the answer to that is no.

So if you are going to be alone, then do things that will help you not be alone next holiday season. What are these things?

Did you know that every great athlete, every great leader, every person that succeed at an endeavor, first has a plan of how they are going to succeed? Don’t take my word for this. Read up on the people you admire and you will see for yourself.

So make a plan of what you will do to make sure that you are not going to be alone next holiday season. Give yourself steps to take. And then give yourself more steps to take in case the first set of steps fails. And then make an additional list of steps to take in case you still don’t have what you want.

Because if you don’t yet have what you want, the answer is never to just give up. The answer is to keep trying and doing more, because something you do will eventually work and you will have what you want.

If you follow the advice I just gave you, you might end up have a pretty great time during the holidays, and I know that will make you happy. So here’s to your Happy Holidays!

To gain real insight into what to change so you won’t be alone next year, schedule a Get Clarity Coaching Session. Get the clarity you need to create a different relationship outcome, so you experience the close, loving relationship you deserve.

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